Boobs or bums?
- BRAD
- Aug 7, 2024
- 4 min read
Are you a boobs man or a bum man? This was the question I was asked at a pub in Stourbridge, 2017.
It was asked by an old timer, but he was an astute business man, so it was cool. It was cool because I wouldn’t have been drinking with them.
My reply was vehement and emphatic, BUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM ;P
I threw it back. He, replied, “I’m a tit man, but Dave, here, [POINTING LEFT] is a bum man.” Dave turned to face him and just looked. I started laughing. He, added, “of the female variety, obviously.”
We were drinking ale together. If that wasn’t grenade enough, there was a real hand grenade which was launched a short which later, but that’s another story. It was something to do with business and it was a shocker. The pub went silent, but boobs and bums are fine. They won’t bring a pub to its ears.
There was always a page 3 pin-up on the factory walls, where I grew up in the West Midlands. I was working out of the office, there, at 14, but would take regular walks across the floor to chat to the guys there. We all got on really well. This was genuinely accepted, until some female inspector of some kind, with bob came in and told them to take them down. I liked them. I don’t see anything wrong in tits on posters. It’s healthy for both the male and the female.
I knew a tit model, who told me she loved to get her knockers out and have them photographed. So where does the problem come from? I’ll tell you where it comes from. It comes flat chested pigeongrams, whose balloons are flatter than that of a witch. I like witches, so it’s cool. But I also like tits.
You don’t very often see somebody mooning on a page 3, that being the verb to describe somebody pulling down their lower clothing to reveal their bare bum. I’ve seen swimwear, but never bare bum. I’ve been mooned before.
I recall delivering something through a mate’s letterbox once. I presumed he wasn’t in, wrongly. As I was leaving the driveway, he called me back. I turned round and he was bent over exposing his white cheeks. I laughed, as did he. I was once mooned by a female while on a walk. She stood right in front of my mate and I and she lowered her leggings. My mate spotted it first. He was more fixated than I. I just laughed and we continued walking around these gardens.
I’ve written for The Daily Star, albeit, not page three. Daily Star is still renowned for its boobs. It’s a lad publication, promising quick news, tits, the latest sport and your telly. Its no nonsense, chatty and readers can digest the latest, fast.
There was a clean-up of the publication many years ago, with campaigns to remove page three. Page three was never removed, but there’s more lingerie wear now rather than boobies.
Boobs and beaches. It’s common to see women with their tits out on many a beach across the Mediterranean during summer. It’s not something I look for, but when you’ve got walkers passing in the other direction with their bikinis off, you can’t help but notice. You never usually see a nice pair of tight double Ds. It’s usually saggy tits or flat chested witches, boasting a sad pair of bee stings.
There should be specific beaches for this. You don’t want to see or have people in your party seeing things like this. Girls, girls! You want an all over tan, we get it. There are private beaches for this. I don’t mind, per se, but it’s always a little nicer to cover up. I’m recalled to the time around 2011, when every female seemed to be reading that trash literature, “50 Shades.” I thought the themes across both the text and the proceeding film, were smut, lingering at the bottom of the barrel. It’s nothing personal, I’m just saying, I thought the Linwood Barclay collection was much better, more suspenseful and better written.
You very rarely see people walking with their bums out on beaches. This would mean their frontage would be showing, which could be received much more seriously. We have seen lads and lasses sunbathing in the nude, faced down. This is either with shorts pulled down, so their bums can be seen, and indeed, given a tan, or without anything. I prefer tan lines. Tan lines show a contrast and definition of tone. There is nothing better than a nice upper body and leg tan and then a perfectly nice white bum. I’ve pictures of Tenerife earlier in the year, standing in the mirror. I was pleased with the result, although, I remember, when embarking on a March trip after a long winter, to lather the factor 50. If you get sunstroke once, you’ll never get it again.
“It’s completely a personal preference. I think that most men nowadays prefer butts over boobs, whereas the boob obsession is more of a thing belonging to the generations older than 50.
“My theory is that men have predominantly been into ass over boobs for a lot longer than the last ten years or so. With the advent of social media, girls are able to post belfies and other ass pics all the time.
“Prior to that, the fashion industry, run largely by women and gay men, put out what the public saw, and focused on boobs. Social media made it so that anyone could be a model. Guys responded by confirming that they are very much into the booty.
“But obviously, men love boobs, too. I don’t think that will ever end.” Alicia Stills, female, thus, she must be right, a forum contributor, posted to the social forum Quora in 2021.
It will be a question that will be asked in a bar tonight at least somewhere in the world, despite reference to age. It will stand the test of time. Boobs or bums? Either way, just make sure you apply the sun lotion ;)
