Sunstroke is a killer

Nobody loves lounging on a beach more than me, but I tell you, now, if you get sunstroke, it's enough to put you off sitting in the sun for life, suncream or not.

I was on the beach in Tenerife Sur all afternoon. Everything was fine. I got through a bottle of Smirnoff and coke and took several dips in the blue waters. The music was superb, and the sand was rammed.

It was ace, that is, until I went into a local restaurant to charge my phone. I said to a person standing next to me, "is it me or is it cold?"

He, said, "no, it's not cold." I put on my red coat. It was unusual, because around me everyone was still in bikinis and shorts. I realise now what happened.

This was the first sign of sunstroke. Because I had been in intense heat all day, when I came out of that and felt difference in temperature, it is as if you’ve entered a different country, altogether.

Peeling skin following a very nasty case of sunstroke

It got really bad days later. So, on the evening, everything is fine. Some patients report feeling dizzy and tired, as if something is off. I didn’t. I felt fine. The day after was absolutely horrific. I couldn’t walk. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t move. The pain was so bad all over my body. I was in absolute agony. To get any comfort, I had to jiggle. I giggle about it, now. At the time, you pray hard that it passes, fast. You have all these electrical impulses all over your body. They shoot across. My head shoot, violently. The swelling was horrific. It was so fierce that I couldn’t move my ankles. I did not want to dial the emergency services. I’m a bit of a Gaz Cooper. I always respected the strong, silent types in life. Besides, it was only sunstroke, right? It was typical, today was a Sunday and the shops had closed, early. They were opening the following morning.

I decided to go straight for the factor 50. Sunstroke will heal within 48 hours, according to USA Today. It wanted to, n’all. It was killing. I figured the reactions would work once applied on the skin, despite it being after the sun’s rays had been absorbed. It didn’t go very far. The pain was still excruciating. I decided to go back to the shops to get a bottle of aftersun.

Three days after leaving the sunshine on the beach

You know how much I love aftersun, but on this occasion, it was to save my life. I decided to take a cool shower. There is a difference between a cool shower and a cold shower. I didn’t want to take a cold shower, as it would have made my skin want to warm itself up. The cool shower worked, until I got out and went into the upstairs, back bedroom. The pain came back. I stood and wobbled left and right to give me some alleviation. I opened the window and closed the window. It did nothing. I kept talking to myself to distract myself from the sensation.

It was discomfort on steroids. It had to be the painkillers. “Fucking, shit!” Yes, the shops had closed. Can we please get more twentyfour hour supermarkets in the UK. This is 2024. 24-hour consumerism should be a thing, now. There are nightworkers, night owls. Not everyone is asleep during the night, and of course, emergencies!

It was time for 111. I was reluctant to dial 999. This was only sunburn, but my foot and ankle was so swollen, I couldn’t walk. I got through to an advice centre. The woman asked me a load of questions and decided it was a referral to the ambulance service.

They called me ten minutes after. They explained it needs a visual assessment and there would be burns treatments. She went on to say the service has a thirteen hour wait. There were priorities and then priorities. I was in the latter. This was understandable. I didn’t think they would attend at all, and they didn’t. She said I was to get a taxi up to the local A&E. I couldn’t walk, love, but there you go.

I didn’t attend the hospital. I realised all they could really do is prescribe pain killers. There would be an inevitable five hour wait, and I did not want to sit in an emergency room in the early hours of the morning with all and sundry. It was another unbearable night.

I tried laying cold towels, which had been immersed in water. The first towel gave off a foam. I smelt it. There was some form of shower gel on there. I could not use this. I decided to get another. This one didn’t foam. The only bubbles on top of the fabric were from the water hitting the material. I took it to the bed and lay them on top of me. I began to dither. The towels were thrown off. I did not sleep at all. I took regular trips to the shower room to bathe my aching feet in cool water.

The following day arrived. I went straight for the Ibuprofen. I bought the cheap stuff. Years ago, there was a study, which suggested the cheap stuff is chemically identical to the expensive stuff. The only difference is the packaging. You can’t say the same for Cava and Champagne, though. But this isn’t alcohol. I took three straight-up. The advice on the box was two. I swallowed them with a 40p carton of Orange Juice from the drinks isle. It went down well.

The pain killers did work. I took two every four hours. There are more than six hundred deaths from heatstroke in the US, every year, according to Comprehensive Physiology. I am a fit young lad, so I didn’t think for a minute it was going to be fatal, but my God, it’s enough to put me off going out in the sunshine for the rest of the year.

The NHS advises patients go to a cool place, remove all clothing, drink plenty of water, spray the skin with the same, take painkillers and within three days, you’re better. They were right. I’m fine now. I’m plastered in peeling skin, which is making more people ask about where I’ve been.

Now, I’m no longer in pain. That’s all I was worried about, and I don’t feel the need to take any more medication. You will know, I don’t do meds. I like just to let things get better, naturally, so if I’m popping pills, it’s for something serious. I do drink a lot though, but I say it’s good for one’s health, but you do your own research.

I will definitely continue my endeavours, but caution will be taken next time I’m lounging on a beach, fool I was!