World's best bar

I've been to many bars in my time. If you've got anything about you, you will have, too. There are bars and there are bars. I'm a Brit native. There's a chain of pubs across the country, known locally as The Spoons. They're okay. That is all I'm going to say about them. There are other bars. The best bar in the world can be found, not on the ground, but in the air.

I was on a flight from East Midlands to Tenerife in the Canary Islands, last week. I'm currently in the UK. I've been back only three days. People have enquired where I've been. I told them, The Canaries. It's after one of the gloomiest April's we have seen in six years. This saddens me, greatly. I love the sun so much. I really, really love the sun. I thank the sun and give immense gratitude for it. Where I would be without it, I do not know. The good news is, there was plenty of it in Tenerife.

You will not get a better bar than at 36,000ft

I am spending two weeks, here, before flying off to Roma, Italy. The day was perfect. We left with ample time via the railway. We changed at Leicester from Birmingham and then took another train to East Midlands Parkway. There were plenty of taxis ready to take us to the airport, which could be seen in the distance. The air traffic control tower was the biggest giveaway. I decided to go on an afternoon constitution. It was one of the nicest walks I have ever been on. I stopped at a local for a few drinks.

You would never, ever have gotten the chance to experience the villages we passed had we have gotten in a car. We took walks down trails, across footpaths, up hills, negating many roads, before finding the refrigerated tins, awaiting our enjoyment. I appreciated at the time, yes it is odd. Why on earth would anyone want to walk, when there are taxis? Are you stark raving bonkers, man?! Is this a nice way of saying that actually you're a cheapskate cunt? No. Seriously, I had a wad of notes and nobody to impress. It was delightful. I was travelling solo. If I was with my girlfriend, I would have gotten in the back of a car, and we would have enjoyed a drink airside. I did this, too. But for now, it was that bench. It was that field. It was that cute garage. It was that hotel, which on old mate of mine Kat runs. All this would have been missed. I am grateful to my legs and to my endurance.

A road near the Leicestershire village of Kegworth

I did a quick recording for film, talking about how we are the only people it seems to have learned anything post lockdown. We have altered our lifestyles, amazingly. I am no longer in a radio station, presenting mid-morning, where my producer and I would always sigh when we were talking about holidays, saying none of have any booked. Now, I am averaging two holidays a month and gooduns n'all. I have learned so much. It saddens me, greatly, to see people just plodding on. We expected there to be big groups of canal bashers, hippies, music lovers, friends in great number, celebrating the romanticism life offers, and all I saw was workers. Despite this, I was so happy to see a couple walking adjacent to me, yesterday. The woman was in a yellow frill and a multi coloured skirt. She had a speaker playing The Black Eyed Peas ‘Where Is The Love’. She turned to look at me and I smiled. She had with her a big, black mate. He, too, smiled. He then answered a phone call. I was thrilled to see progress.

2020 was the closest thing our generation has seen to the Swinging Sixties. Some very good things happened during flower power and so many good things happened during the summer lockdowns. I am a massive, massive advocate. It saw convicts holding hands with police officers, it saw cultures coming together as one, celebrating life over good weather, good food and good drink. Anyone who opposed this were absolutely criminal. How can anyone in their right mind be against that?! I’ll tell you how. “I would love to do that, but I can’t. I’m scared, so I will hate on it.” Some people call this, plain old jealousy. It is our duty to open people like that with open arms and then, them, too, are part and parcel.

I was working for the Daily Mirror Group in the regions at the time. People used to write in, complaining about these gatherings. Stories were run, quoting, “Police need to crack down on these lockdown gatherings, say locals.” I used to throw such items in the bin, I’m not kidding you. Colleagues in Birmingham ran that story. I would have spun it. “Gatherers too busy enjoying the summer to hear the hatred,” later quoting the other locals. It’s a typecast, usually finishing work at five, in a job they don’t like, only to find happy go lucky youths, celebrating life as one, near their homes when they clock off. My response to them would be to look at what I do. I, too have finished for the day, but I’ve gone straight to the lake in the Audi Quattro to have friends sitting in and ontop of the car with the roof off. All twenty of us in a big group with music coming from the speakers.

I used to get terribly upset when watching the final scene in the film classic Grease. To see high school friends, who have spent years together, celebrating the summer as one at the fairground, used to hurt me something rotten. 2020 was that scene. I spent an evening watching that film with Vinny. He’s as hard as they come. But he turned into a transfixed kid when that played on Film 4. I have now lived that scene and I was so pleased to have done and to say I did.

Most of the afternoon was spent at the Leonardo Hotel in the airport's grounds. The aerodrome is in the middle of the Leicestershire countryside. Surrounding the complex are rolling fields. It's beautiful. Cockpit crew were seen smoking on big fat cigars in the seating area outside the hotel. I smiled and thought of 'Catch Me If You Can'. I enjoyed hours with drinks, listening to music in a private spot.

No afternoon can get any better than with a drink, airside. I took my third picture in departures this year and it's only April. I enjoyed a nice conversation with the two female bar staff. I was their only customer. It was the last flight. Splendid, we had the bar to ourselves.

Brad at Proof airside at East Midlands Airport

There was such anticipation when at the gate. I was nervous. I buried my head in my book, Jack Kerouac’s ‘On The Road’ to ensure I was attracting no unwanted attention and was blending in. I was excited. I was looking around like a kid in a sweetshop, taking it all in. It would have appeared to the other passengers that I was looking for my party, who have just gone to the toilet or are catching up in the queue. I was travelling solo, but they weren’t to know this. It worked. I was thrilled when I got on the plane. I made an earlier promise to save any exulting for when I was on the plane. When it began to pushback I let out a big “YESSSSS!”

Waiting in line, before boarding the aircraft

It was a sunset takeoff. The sun was due to set at 20.15. It was 20.15 and we were pushing back. This meant the airfield lights would be turning on one by one. The colours in the sky were stunning. It is my favourite time of day, when day fades into night. The palate that’s offered is meditative. You can’t help but admire it. I go quiet. I go still and I just appreciate.

The plane took off, made its vectors and reached cruise. I was enjoying several vodkas by this point. I began to get lost in my music, LOST IN MY MUSIC. My last interaction was several hours ago. It was night by this point. Outside on the horizon was a light blue, a dark orange and then black. I could hear the roar of the air surrounding the plane. I went into a really nice space. My thoughts went to my career, my family, my friends and I felt an unbounded, transcendental, unending, consciousness altering love for them all. It was so moving, tears were rolling down my face. I was looking out at the infinite sky and the vast blanket of cloud, beneath. It was a completely different space, altogether. It is for this reason, why the best bars in the world are to be found at 36,000ft.

Next time you look up at the blue sky and see contrails at the local, you will remember that. Take my advice, book the trip and your next pint could be on par.