Why are we still waiting for heatwave

I have been talking all week about why we are still waiting for the heatwaves. I am an avid recorder of the weather. From early April, all the way through to the end of September, the weather is stunning. I’m talking blue sky and sunshine every day. This year, it has been cool wind throughout April and patchy, high-altitude cloud. This bothers me.

The townhouse I am currently living in has a sun terrace at the back of the upstairs bedroom. What I want to do, is go out there and sit on a bean bag from morning till mid-afternoon. The sun rises and is on the terrace until about two in the afternoon, before it moves to the other side of the house, where I would sit in the garden.

The coldest, cloudiest and wettest April England has seen in six years

I tested the tiles this morning and they were warm enough, so I decided to go onto the patio to see if it was as warm as I expected. It wasn’t. Boo hoo. There was a cool wind. So I have all this time for sunbathing and I can’t. It’s just not warm enough. The house is superb. I was telling friends this afternoon, we can go out onto the patio over the summer over the evenings and play cards and enjoy drinks over conversation into the small hours.

I keep reassuring them, it will only be a matter of weeks and the weather will surprise us. It will break. And boy, we need it, I know I do. This winter seems to have gone on and on. I mean four years on. I haven’t sat in a beer garden for four years. This is enough to make anybody ill. There is a colossal garden with a massive screen at our local gastro pub. We were dining there this week and I commented. I said to the management, who we know, I said, I bet it’s rammed out there in the summer. Then, there was a football connotation. The beer there is good, but the weather wasn’t good enough to sit in.

The sort of Spring we are used to seeing, over Whitehouse Common, Staffordshire

I was at Manchester Airport on the weekend. We were due to fly out to Barcelona for a Friday night beach party. There were planned fireworks and music on the beach. The following morning, we were flying to Nice in the South of France. We were spending daytime there, before travelling east to the neighbouring Monaco. On the evening, we were due at the world-famous Monte Carlo Casino, which saw the James Bond films Thunderball, starring Sean Connery and Goldeneye with Piers Brosnan. The morning after, it was a flight to the north to Geneva, Switzerland to enjoy the cafés, there, by the river. The morning after, we were bound west, flying back to Manchester.

Barcelona had highs of 27C and so did the south of France. Unfortunately, Geneva was forecast rain and lower temperatures of 19C. But, café visits in the rain are appealing. There is nothing more enchanting than light Jazz and a café. So it was a kind and inviting forecast.

As England goes, we are still waiting. This is why we worship the ground of those contrails and the flashing lights travelling across the sky. It is even nicer when you are looking at the ground from inside one of them.

Spring 2021 over Sutton Park in the Midlands, temperatures of 22C recorded for five years in a row, until now

I recall a flight from the Greek Islands, overnight. We were due Birmingham and we were flying over Germany. There were a million and one streetlights on the ground beneath. It was stunning. I turned round to see everybody asleep on the aircraft. The crew had dimmed the cabin lights and there were purple LED lights, creating a soothing environment. It was stunning. However, I was awake. I played a track called Chapter Five from the album The Cavern by the Heliocentrics. It’s a track, combining Jazz with funk. It’s a neo genre, acid Jazz and psychedelic in its creation. Listening to that through the then, in, Beats Pro headphones, and to see the lights, like diamonds, was exceptional.

The sun terrace is still there, the weather is on the way. Keep strong and realise, it might be a little late this year, but like the ducklings and the momma duck I saw on the water on my afternoon walk today, Spring is here and like the last five years, the weather will return. I reiterate, for the last five years from the end of March, all the way through till the end of September, it is heatwaves. This is evidenced on my photo albums. I was only having a flick through on the old phone the other night.

I was sat in the blue deck chair, next to the red car on an industrial estate on an item for the news. It was a superb suntrap. If you are in need of a break or you are working remotely, industrial estates are the best suntraps. Load yourself with protection to ensure a safe and slow tan and you’re onto a winner. The picture was ace. It was late in the afternoon, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky and the skin tone was reddish. Remember this, today’s red is tomorrow’s brown. You know what I think about the Garnier Aftersun. It comes in a light blue bottle. The scent of that cream evokes an array of memories.

Only this week, walking through Superdrug, I did what I did a university, those years earlier. I squirted a bit of cream under my nose and rubbed it in. When I left the store, I smelt the ointment, and I was taken back to Carda Beach in the Greek Islands. It was different from the flight, mentioned in the afore paragraph. This time we were in Kos, that was Rhodes. The memory took me back to having been by the pool all day. Now, I was in the bedroom. I had just got out of the shower and the balcony doors were open. On the other side of the balcony, were the other rooms and beyond that was the sea. The sky was blue. It was light and it was an hour or so before nightfall. It was stunning.  When I awoke from the memory, I am in a shopping centre. This was okay. I wasn’t as blue as I would have been if I were younger. I recall returning from that particular holiday and I was ill for two weeks. Those blues were mopped up by endless Benson and Hedges Gold and Smirnoff and Coke. Within two to three weeks I was fine. For now, I wait in hope and with unwavering faith for the heatwaves.